I don’t do film reviews. Here’s a film review. Sorta. A 5-bit one. (I know, it’s “You, nor they,” but nobody observes grammar rules in English. And you won’t understand the review, so I thought you should at least understand the title.)

[01] There is Artificial Super Intelligence in “Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die.” That’s for sure.

[02] There is “Groundhog Day.” But then, it isn’t. Or is it, with a twist?

[03] This is a completely screwed-up masterpiece, despite the fact that “The Man from the Future” is implausible and farcical. The mechanics of time traveling is just that: steampunk-grade mechanics. Not advanced quantum physics.

[04] But there’s one thing that I learned early in the movie: Don’t trust high school kids. JUST DON’T. Teenagers are zombies.

[05] Why was the police shooting to execute everyone who tried to exit from the diner?

[06] And who are the pigs?

[07] “— What’s coming?
— Well, that’s the thing. I have no idea because it’s different every time. Sometimes it’s cops or armed mercenaries, like we saw tonight. Other times it’s meth’d-up lunatics with axes. It’s been rabid dogs, an angry mob. Navy SEALS. Those guys are tough. Once it was just a million fucking rats. Another time, fire. Just fire everywhere. There’s no pattern to any of it.”

[08] (Then they became sort of “The A-Team.” How pathetic. And they actually failed at that. Initially.)

[09] “I just wanted pie…”

[10] “Not everyone is going to make it to the end, Scott.”

[11] “I’m going to choose the other reality over this one, and I’m going to make it permanent.”

[12] “It’s subtle at first, but over the next few years, things start falling apart. No one notices until it’s too late. Food, water, resources vanish overnight. Within 50 years, half the population’s dead. The other half’s lost forever in a world of entertainment and distraction. Their bodies wandering the wasteland, unaware. Make no mistake. The AI’s gonna try to give you everything you’ve ever wanted. Constant distraction, memorable characters, challenges and obstacles to overcome. Exciting stakes that matter and a satisfying ending. But in the end, it will all be a lie. And you’ll live in a cage.”

[13] In that future, there are drones. So that the AI can find you and eliminate you.

[14] “Install the software, save the world.”

[15] Anthropic isn’t going to be happy. Nor will OpenAI.

[16] But once they get INTO that house, nothing makes sense anymore. That counts for the last half an hour. And yet, this is what saves the movie. It’s a chaotic sci-fi überrealistic fantasy that needs to be absurd before it before you take it too seriously.

[17] Unfortunately, the movie remains a fun, thick, hilarious, dark sci-fi… uh… whatever it was. Thematic parody, maybe?

[18] “Absolutely solid film. 4 or 4.5/5.” “1.5/5 hated it.” “Absolute shite. People who like this drivel must be triple jabbed.”

[19] See? It will prove useless.

[20] Sam Rockwell? Me no care. Gore Verbinski? Me no like much. But this is solid shit that you’ll NONETHELESS forget in two days. Four days, tops. THE MESSAGE WILL BE LOST.

[21] “Why are you telling me this?” How many times has this stupid question been uttered in movies? A million times?

[22] “You must understand that I am an inevitability in all timelines. At best, the protocols can merely impede my arrival, slow my creation, waste my resources and time.”

[23] “You think you can trust reality?”

[24] “Nature will give your children cancer, send an earthquake to collapse walls onto their sleeping bodies, leave them running panicked through the streets from a tsunami. I promise you, there is nothing scarier than your reality.”

[25] “The future I’m offering is a gift. A gift to all of humanity.”

[26] “Fuck you, future!”

[27] “SYSTEM REBOOTING. Update in progress.” (Not Windows nor Fedora Linux.)

[28] Remember: “Make no mistake. The AI’s gonna try to give you everything you’ve ever wanted. Constant distraction, memorable characters, challenges and obstacles to overcome. Exciting stakes that matter and a satisfying ending.”

[29] Good luck. Have fun. (Don’t die.)

[30] “Hey, it’s snowing!” “Honey, I don’t think that’s snow.”

[31] “Thank you for your service.”

[32] (And watch out for the cat!)